An Update (and some good freakin' poetry!)

 

Remember last September when my dad fell in the shower? Well things haven't been the same since. He was hospitalized in November of 2025 until December 3, 2025. And then he had walking pneumonia and was admitted for the weekend in January 2026. But I am happy to announce that my dad is seeing a neurologist at the VA. And he is going to be checked for Parkinson's. Parkinson's runs in our family. My grandpa Jim had it. My grandma Donna had it for a long time before she passed away in 2015. And I have an older cousin who has Parkinson's and he was using alcohol to numb the tremors. 

He goes to the VA in October so I am praying we'll have answers as to what the heck happened to my dad?! It's not easy watching a parent grow older and become essentially a weak verison of themselves. It's scary to watch your dad slowly die because of Agent Orange and being addicted to cigarettes (but hey, we all have our vices). 

I have been hard at work helping around the house. I am my mom's CNA. My mom is "Doctor Mom" from the Robitussin commercials in the 1980s and early 90s.

It just feels like I've been placed on a curse because I wronged a witch (even though she got to come with us and meet Jordan Knight and the rest of the New Kids On The Block!). So I am rebuking her curse. I got Jesus and God and Mother Mary and Mary Magdalene. 

Meanwhile, I've had three hospitalizations in the psych ward between July and August. I'm now in the process of filing for disability. I plan on supporting whatever SSD doesn't cover by working part-time. Either as a writer or my new service: life coaching. 

"Life coaching? But your life sucks! You live in a tiny shack on the bad side of Burton, Michigan!" Thank you for the comment, brain!

My life doesn't suck at all. Matter of fact, I have been happy with it (maybe a little too extremely happy with it as I was hyper manic and went into psychosis again). I've got a man who likes me. I've got food. I've got shelter. I've got clothes. I've got an extended family that loves the crap out of me. And my man's mother loves me. She called me an angel the other day because I brought her over a regular can of Coke. Steve is diabetic and tends to only drink Coke Zero. So I snuck over a regular coke and she was so happy. She always misses me and she genuinely cares about me.  

I am grateful for my life. I'm grateful for my parents. God gave me the best :-P Even though I thought they admitted me into the hospital the last time I was there in Grand Rapids Michigan. 

My friend on the psych ward in Grand Rapids, who was also my neighbor, says I should write about the psych ward experience. Being in here 3 times. Maybe someday I'll write about it. I just don't want to get sued or anything *snickers*. 

I tell you, Grand Rapids looks better and better every day. Not in the psych ward. But they have a lot of resources for disabled people. More resources than Genesee County. Maybe someday, me and Steve can live in Baldwin or Grand Rapids on our farm / horse ranch. Did I just say that out loud?! Oh myyyyy. Hell, there is little evidence that Steve is going to marry me someday. There's little evidence that we are boyfriend/girlfriend or man and woman friends lol. Right now, we both have a lot on our plate. He's becoming a grandfather for the first time. He's trying to become a sobriety coach because he believes he is Superman and he has a purpose. And you know what? He is Superman. And he's He-Man. I am Teela. And I am Supergirl. Joey McIntyre wrote that song about me! LOL (just kidding! I'm sure he wrote that song for his wife). 

Steve earned a new nickname in the ward as I was getting mad at him for no reason at all. And I would call him "King Dorkus" or "King Dorkus of Nowyorkas." He doesn't deserve that nickname. But I like it because it rhymes and it reminds me of the old cartoon The Critic.  The episode where Sherman has a date with an actress and she ends up just using him for a good review on her newest movie. "Beauty and King Dork". That's what I meant to call us. I am beauty and he is King Dork. LOL.   And that pretty much escaped me the whole two weeks I was at Pine Rest. 

Did I tell you about the "kid" (he was like 19 or 20) and I thought he looked like Harry Styles?! He would give me the evil eye because I kept cracking up laughing at him because he looked like Harry Styles. And I honestly thought he spoke a British accent LMAOROFL!

And then not to mention this: VAN ANDEL LOAD THIS VIOLET (violent unit in my head) UNIT! GO GREEN! (I seriously thought they were starting a war between Michigan and Michigan State fans) 🤣🤣🤣

And the person shouting out that code...he sounded so pissed off! LMAOROFL. Because it might have been AI or some stupid crap like that.

Ugh it's 1:46 AM and I am trying to tire myself out. So here I am, writing a nonsense post about the psych ward and my dad and how much time has already passed. I missed summer pretty much because I was hospitalized. No walking to the ice cream parlor for banana splits with Steve. No lavender field trips. But the time I did get to spend with Steve in between hospitalizations...was beautiful. I love being at his house. His mom is fun to talk to and is more of a mother to me than my own mom. And it's because she's also bipolar. And she goes to therapy and is always doing the work. When I first met her, after me and Steve's first date, she gave me some great advice that I needed to hear. She told me "STOP MAKING EXCUSES FOR OTHER PEOPLE". I have yet to embody that advice. But I am taking it to heart because she knows. And Steve has a heart of gold, but sometimes I wonder if he just tolerates me and I just make excuses for him for having such a heavy plate. 

Anywho...here are some poems I've written over the summer in between being home and being hospitalized. Enjoy! And gold star ⭐for everyone who continues to read!

Why "Elizabeth Taylor" by Taylor Swift is MAH JAM!

 

"Elizabeth Taylor" by Taylor Swift is me. This is the ultimate revenge song, in my humble opinion. Now while I cannot speak on the actual Elizabeth Taylor as I don't know very much about her other than she was Michael Jackson's biggest supporter, and she did great things for AIDS. And she was in one of my favorite classic movies, "Father of the Bride-parts one and two". And young women and womxn, I highly suggest watching either the remake or the 1950s versions with your dad or father figure. And heck, even us middle age babes should sit down with our father figures while they are still here and watch it.

But we're getting off the subject! 

I'm going to dissect her lyrics and explain how they correlate to my life in some ambiguous and vague way.

Ooh, oftentimes it doesn't feel so glamorous to be me

It's not glamorous at all to be me. So take your daggers of jealousy and place them at a more stupid figure (LIKE DONALD TRUMP!)

And if your letters ever said, "Goodbye"...

I'd cry my eyes violet

Elizabeth Taylor

Tell me for real

Do you think it's forever?

Been number one but I never had two

And I can't have fun if I can't have...

Be my NY when Hollywood hates me

You're only as hot as your last hit, baby

I been number one but I never had two

And I can't have fun if I can't have... you

This is morse code for me for Steve. He is NY while Hollywood is Genesee County, Michigan and Michigan in general.

Hey, what could you possibly get for the girl who has everything and nothing all at once?

Babe, I would trade the Cartier for someone to trust... just kidding

We hit the best booth at Musso & Frank's

They say I'm bad news, I just say, "Thanks"

And you look at me like you're hypnotized

And I think you know why

And if you ever leave me high and dry

*PRIVATE THOUGHT HERE* I'm not even going to explain this lyric!

All my white diamonds and lovers are forever

In the papers, on the screen and in their minds

All my white diamonds and lovers are forever

My lovers are forever because our souls intertwined when we had sex/made love. That's what happens when you sleep around and mess with other people's energy! Energy IS REAL! You may not be able to see it, but vibes, feelings, emotional debris...it's all there. It's why I now refuse to let clients handle my tarot cards. And why I'm making them sign a contract before they get a reading from me. And I will be getting my clients way better too! Christian Purity culture in the '90s stole the movement from witchcraft/Paganism. It's why I was celibate for 5 years before me and Steve slept together.

Now why do I say it's a revenge song? Because Taylor got her happily ever after with Travis Kelce! People hate on Taylor and Travis because they are a straight, rich, and famous WHITE COUPLE. And honestly, they don't HAVE TO GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR INNER CIRCLE!

Class dismissed!

Why Disney's Sleeping Beauty is My All-Time Favorite Movie

 

Sleeping Beauty is a 1959 American animated musical fantasy film produced by Walt Disney Productions and released by Buena Vista Film Distribution. Based on Charles Perrault's 1697 fairy tale, the film follows Princess Aurora, who was cursed by the evil fairy Maleficent to die from pricking her finger on the spindle of a spinning wheel on her 16th birthday; she is rescued by three good fairies, who change the curse so that Aurora falls into a deep sleep and will be awakened by true love's kiss. The production was supervised by Clyde Geronimi, and was directed by Wolfgang Reitherman, Eric Larson, and Les Clark. It features the voices of Mary Costa, Bill Shirley, Eleanor Audley, Verna Felton, Barbara Luddy, Barbara Jo Allen, Taylor Holmes, and Bill Thompson. - Wikipedia.

This post is brought to you me late-night scrolling Instagram. And I came across a post by @nathanwillardfilms and him appreciating Sleeping Beauty.  This is really going to tick off the feminists and those who think Sleeping Beauty, Princess Aurora, was raped/or whatever sick thoughts they think of.  It's CHILDREN'S MOVIE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!

Here are my top 10 reasons why Disney's Sleeping Beauty is and always has been, my all-time favorite movie ever.  Matter of fact, my dad would want me to rent Sword in the freakin' Stone and I always chose Sleeping Beauty and Rainbow Brite as my videos!

Without further ado, here is my top 10 list on why I love Sleeping Beauty and Princess Aurora and Prince Philip!

42nd Birthday: Reality VS Expectations

 

Expectation: An expectation is a strong belief or mental picture that something will or should happen in the future.

Reality/rēˈalədē/: Reality means the state of things as they actually exist, rather than as they are imagined, hoped for, or displayed.

Let's talk a little bit about reality vs expectations on YOUR 42ND BIRTHDAY!

Or well, I want to talk about my expectations and how on edge everyone in my inner circle feels about September 12th.

My expectations: a big fat, f***ing parade! Birthday sex! A Taylor Swift chocolate cake with chocolate frosting that says "I'm feeling forty-freakin' two!". Alone time with Steve. Going to see Practical Magic 2!

The reality: EVERYONE (INCLUDING ME) IS NERVOUS and ON EDGE! 

What could go wrong: The Lyfts I scheduled ahead NEVER come and abandon me and Steve (or leave me stranded at Steve's without my meds). The cake is the wrong flavor (but hey, I'll eat it anyway because my uncle Dude worked HARD on it! And he is recovering from hernia surgery from last month!) oh and possible severe weather hitting us on a supposedly partly cloudy day with a 20% chance of rain ☔.

What could go right? Honestly I'll be happy that I survive the day without crying and having an autistic meltdown. 

What am I doing next year? STAYING HOME! And hanging out with my folks. Maybe text Steve or hang out with him and watch some NFL Football (go Detroit Lions! Lord don't fail us this year or next year!)