Why "Elizabeth Taylor" by Taylor Swift is MAH JAM!

 

"Elizabeth Taylor" by Taylor Swift is me. This is the ultimate revenge song, in my humble opinion. Now while I cannot speak on the actual Elizabeth Taylor as I don't know very much about her other than she was Michael Jackson's biggest supporter, and she did great things for AIDS. And she was in one of my favorite classic movies, "Father of the Bride-parts one and two". And young women and womxn, I highly suggest watching either the remake or the 1950s versions with your dad or father figure. And heck, even us middle age babes should sit down with our father figures while they are still here and watch it.

But we're getting off the subject! 

I'm going to dissect her lyrics and explain how they correlate to my life in some ambiguous and vague way.

Ooh, oftentimes it doesn't feel so glamorous to be me

It's not glamorous at all to be me. So take your daggers of jealousy and place them at a more stupid figure (LIKE DONALD TRUMP!)

And if your letters ever said, "Goodbye"...

I'd cry my eyes violet

Elizabeth Taylor

Tell me for real

Do you think it's forever?

Been number one but I never had two

And I can't have fun if I can't have...

Be my NY when Hollywood hates me

You're only as hot as your last hit, baby

I been number one but I never had two

And I can't have fun if I can't have... you

This is morse code for me for Steve. He is NY while Hollywood is Genesee County, Michigan and Michigan in general.

Hey, what could you possibly get for the girl who has everything and nothing all at once?

Babe, I would trade the Cartier for someone to trust... just kidding

We hit the best booth at Musso & Frank's

They say I'm bad news, I just say, "Thanks"

And you look at me like you're hypnotized

And I think you know why

And if you ever leave me high and dry

*PRIVATE THOUGHT HERE* I'm not even going to explain this lyric!

All my white diamonds and lovers are forever

In the papers, on the screen and in their minds

All my white diamonds and lovers are forever

My lovers are forever because our souls intertwined when we had sex/made love. That's what happens when you sleep around and mess with other people's energy! Energy IS REAL! You may not be able to see it, but vibes, feelings, emotional debris...it's all there. It's why I now refuse to let clients handle my tarot cards. And why I'm making them sign a contract before they get a reading from me. And I will be getting my clients way better too! Christian Purity culture in the '90s stole the movement from witchcraft/Paganism. It's why I was celibate for 5 years before me and Steve slept together.

Now why do I say it's a revenge song? Because Taylor got her happily ever after with Travis Kelce! People hate on Taylor and Travis because they are a straight, rich, and famous WHITE COUPLE. And honestly, they don't HAVE TO GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT ANYONE BUT THEMSELVES AND THEIR INNER CIRCLE!

Class dismissed!