3 Things I Loved + 1 Thing I Absolutely Hated - July 2025

 

Welcome to the July 2025 edition of our favorite monthly blog post: 3 Things I Loved (and 1 thing I absolutely hated!). July was a more stable month emotionally. But the lack of creativity stifled me for a while. But it's coming back to life after I took advice from last week's blog post. The well is welling again, baby! Without further ado, here are three things I loved about the month of July!

1. I started a smut/romance erotica book!

Not many people know this about me, but when I was a teenager, I wrote erotica on the Internet under a pen name. I wrote under this pen name until 2015 (my early 30s). I recently checked out how my writing was doing on the website I wrote on and I had 4-star ratings on my writings that I wrote in my early 30s. So this pushed me into sitting down at my laptop and writing 15 pages. Maybe I'll talk about the smut/romance erotica book from time to time. Just for now, I'm using an idea that has been with me since summer 2024. I'm very nervous about losing interest in writing the smut book. I plan on publishing it under Amazon under a different pen name (different from the website I published as a teenager and adult). I also plan on hiring an actual cover artist to draw the cover. I'm super excited for this side project. I'm hoping to have it released by September 2026 or early 2027 at the latest.

2. I have sold a combined total of 89 copies of books in almost a year!

I know 89 copies doesn't sound like a lot, but in the self-publishing world, it's quite a feat. I've sold 21 copies of Saturday Morning Tarot, 41 copies of GROWTH: A Healing Journey of Poetry and Prose, and 23 copies of my newest book, See Ya & Other Goodbyes: Poems & Prose About Life, Love, and Loss Through My Eyes. I even sold a Kindle copy to someone from the UK, who follows me on Instagram! (Thank youuuuu!!!!) I'm hoping to sell 100 combined copies by December of this year. The average number of copies a self-published author sells is 250. I'd love to beat that number to 300 over the next two years. And I think I will once I get my smut book published.

3. Invader Zim & Courage the Cowardly Dog & Castle Grayskull!

We have a three-way tie for the number three spot. I'm currently obsessed with Invader Zim, Courage the Cowardly Dog, and the reissue of Castle Grayskull from He-Man & the Masters of the Universe. 

I've been randomly quoting Invader Zim, and no one seems to get my references (which I love because I love being random like that).

At night, before bed, I've been binge-watching Courage the Cowardly Dog I DVR'd off Cartoon Network's Checkered Past airings from the last year.

I'm also obsessed with Castle Grayskull, the playset from the 80s. Mattel is reissuing it and selling it on Amazon later this year. And I gotta say, it looks cool! I want to buy it and plaaaaaayyyy! But I have no room for toys. 

So I guess dreams will die 🤣. I think Castle Grayskull is the coolest playset ever. Way better than Barbie's Dreamhouse. Way better than My Little Pony's play sets. Even better than Rainbow Brite and Jem and the Holograms! If only I weren't a baby in the 80s, I could have woken up one Christmas morning with He-Man wrapping paper and Castle Grayskull waiting for me under the tree with action figures. A girl can dream.

Writing Through the Meh: What I Create When I Feel Nothing

 

Remember how last month I was tapped into a well of endless creativity? Well now, I am having writer's block! Of course, the well of creativity was going to dry up sooner than later. I was just hoping it would be much later.

July 2025 has been difficult to navigate creativity. I find myself uninspired, bored, drab. Everything I DO write just isn't hitting me like it was last month. I guess that is what happens when you are off the hypomania of bipolar disorder and you start to even out.

How do I manage to create when I am feeling these things? I don't.

I take the pressure off myself to create. I only create when something really moves me. And if only one thing moves me, I let myself create that one thing -- whether it is a blog post, a poem, or some prose. I tell myself "get this idea out of your head and onto paper". And then usually, when I write that one piece, that one post, that one prose, I get a couple more ideas that come to me and I am writing for at least an hour.

I don't force myself to write. I take a break from writing and creating when I am really not feeling it. And I think more people should do that in anything. Whether it's a job (take your damn vacations!), or a creative hobby or passion. Sometimes a little R&R will help us come up with inspiration all on its own, or it rekindles the flame. Or it helps you figure out your priorities.

When I do feel like writing and nothing is coming to me, I like to search for writing prompts on the Internet. I recently came across an Instagram called poemsbypogi. He creates monthly prompts on his Instagram that always gets the thinking and creativity going. I recently wrote a poem using one of his prompts called "Weeping Like a Willow Tree". I highly enjoyed using that prompt to create something.

When I am feeling meh or down about writing, usually that is when I don't force myself to create at all. I let ideas come and go. I figured if one idea nags at me, it will pull me out of the funk and I will be forced to write it anyway just to get it out of my system.

You don't always have to be "on". You don't always have to create. Matter of fact, terrible writing advice is "to write everyday". No. That is a for sure way you'll burn out.

I find eventually the writer's block fades once you stop forcing yourself to create. You just have to give yourself time, patience, and self-love. 

If you are a writer on a deadline, the best advice I can give you is to set goals that are achievable and realistic.

I like to set goals for myself that are reasonable. I recently told myself I would write my 200th poem by December of this year. Guess what? I was so inspired that I surpassed my 200th poem by July! I've written 210 poems now. 

And honestly, quantity doesn't matter. Quality does. You can use this "downtime" to edit and revise your already existing work. Make it more polished for publishing or sharing on social media. And chances are, maybe an existing work inspires you to add more to it, or you create a whole different piece of work completely from the inspiration of the first thing you write.

My advice to writers in a nutshell:

1. Don't force yourself to write. Allow ideas to come and go.

2. Quality over quantity. Use the down time to edit and revise your previous works, submit to publishers, or spiffy up for social media.

3. Use writing prompts. Search "Writing Prompts", "poetry prompts", "writing ideas" in Google or even ChatGPT. Just don't let ChatGPT write it for you! ;-)

4. TAKE. A. BREAK. Seriously, take a vacation from writing and creating. You deserve to let your mind and body rest.

5. Set a reasonable writing goal you can handle. "I'm going to write 2,000 words a week", "I'm going to write 300 pieces of writing by December" etc. it doesn't matter how big or small the goal is.

I hope this helps other fellow writers :-). Tell me, what do you do when you are in a writing funk? What's something that has helped you break out of writer's blocks or "meh" attitudes? I would love to hear them!

July Poem Dump

 

I thought I would share some of my favorite poems I've written lately. Please, comment below which one you like best! I will post some of these on my Instagram.

How My Elementary School Teacher Inspired Me to Become a Writer

 

I've loved creating and telling stories since I was first able to write complete sentences. It didn’t occur to me I could choose to be an author until I was in third grade. This is my story of how my third-grade teacher, Mrs. Jill Welch, inspired and encouraged me to keep writing and to become an author.

Mrs. Welch is one of those teachers who is renowned for her kindness towards her students. She comes down to their level without talking down to them. I was lucky to have Mrs. Welch as my teacher for the 1992-1993 school year. I always look back fondly at her class—her sitting in her director’s chair, legs propped up on an empty desk, sharing stories about topics that mattered to us kids. Her stories typically covered topics relevant to our adolescent lives—from pop culture moments like the Tonya Harding attack on Nancy Kerrigan and the allegations against Michael Jackson, to deeper discussions on morals and values. I have fond memories of being very interested in her discussions about life, some of which still guide me today—like the fact that she’s one reason I never picked up smoking.

In Mrs. Welch’s class, we had a weekly list of spelling words to practice.

“I’m going to give you all a spelling test every Friday. But for now, your homework is to make up a short story with the words from your spelling list", Mrs. Welch announced.

While the class groaned, I was excited about this challenge.

Every Monday, she handed out our weekly list. I always made sure to complete the story on time. My stories were pure nonsense—funny and full of less-than-perfect grammar. But Mrs. Welch saw something in them—something no other teacher had ever mentioned to me or my parents.

“Sam, you are a talented writer. I can easily see you being an author someday,” Mrs. Welch wrote in the margins of one of my short stories. She returned the paper with a big red "A" at the top.

I wanted to be an artist when I was in third grade. But my drawing skills were not the greatest, unlike some of my classmates, who were much better artists than I was. But after that comment on my paper, I realized writing was my calling. It made more sense than becoming an artist.

Mrs. Welch continued to nurture me and my creativity in her class. She even had me submit a poem I wrote to our local newspaper, The Flint Journal’s Wide Awake Club, a section of the newspaper for elementary school students to submit writings and drawings based on a topic. The best submissions won prizes.

The newspaper published my poem—even though it didn’t win a prize, it still felt incredibly cool. My poem was about Easter. It wasn’t anything too special—just an abecedarian poem. That was the first poem I ever wrote. It was a pretty big deal to my parents and my grandma Annette when I got published in the newspaper.

“Look at my granddaughter, the writer!” my grandma Annette would proudly say to her friends, who came over,showing off the newspaper clipping she had proudly displayed in her china cabinet.

Mrs. Welch was extremely proud of me for submitting my poem to the Wide Awake Club. She had me read the poem out loud during Show and Tell Friday. I got to sit in her director’s chair, feeling important, and read my work to the class. I was so proud and felt so confident. The entire class applauded after I finished reading my poem. I turned bright red—I was shy and socially awkward back then.

I remember The Wide Awake Club would become something our school district took part in. I had only two pieces published during elementary school—once in third grade, and again in sixth grade, when I wrote about wanting to be famous and win a Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Award.

Mrs. Welch even recommended that I attend a Young Author's conference that the school district was having with another local school district. I read a book I had written for Language Arts class.I connected with other budding young writers. They even had different writing activities for us, such as writing something in Chinese, and exploring the writing process as a professional writer. It was a fun Saturday before the end of the school year.

Eventually, third grade was over. It was time to move to fourth grade and attend a brand new school. I ran into Mrs. Welch when I was in sixth grade, when she was touring the school with incoming fourth graders in her third-grade classroom. 

“Mrs. Welch! It’s me, Samantha Tate!” I shrieked with happiness. 

“Hi babe! So good to see you!!” Mrs. Welch said warmly as she hugged me.

We then became friends on Facebook in my adult years. She still comments on my posts, saying things like, “Sam, you are so smart!” or complimenting my writing and telling me I’m still an amazing writer. Mrs. Welch was so excited when I published my first book. I think she even bought a copy—even though it was about tarot and she’s Catholic.

Mrs. Welch remains my greatest inspiration as a writer and my biggest childhood hero. Teachers like her deserve all the praise, all the recognition, and all the awards—for the way they nurture young minds and spark lifelong passions.  I thank God every day for having had a teacher who cared about me the way Mrs. Welch did. I haven’t felt as warmly about a teacher since. 

Poems I'm Afraid To Share + Why

 

The following are snippets, lines, and stanzas from works I've written but have never shared publicly. I'm unsure if they will ever be shared publicly. Let's just say I'm testing the waters for these pieces of writing with this blog. I will also share the backstory behind these piece of works and why I don't want to share them just yet.

Content warning: The following may deal with serious subject matters such as rape, suicide, and mental health. Viewers are advised to exit if any of these topics triggers or you are not in the mindset for heavy topics right now. I will NOT water down my content to appease everyone's triggers. Thank you.

The first poem I am sharing has the working title "A Prayer To God From a World In Crisis".  This one is controversial for it's atheist and agnostic themes. And also, I write later in the poem that God is not a Christian, Muslim, or Jew. And that God belongs to everybody. Some people's children may not be ready to admit that truth just yet.

Anyway, here's a snippet:

God, why do you not hear our prayers?

Are you even real?

Do you even care?

Because right now,

People are abandoning you.

Because you refuse to show up for them.

If you want us to believe in you again,

You need to help those who help themselves

And those who cannot help themselves

People had strong faith in you

But now

It's non-existent

It's frowned upon.

I may publish this one on Instagram at a later time, later date, once the environment tension cools down. Or it just may remain in my draft section, never to be read by anyone but me. This poem is pretty heavy with the current political, social environment we're in as a country in the United States and as a planet.

3 Things I Loved in June 2025 (And 1 Thing I Absolutely Hated)

 

Welcome to June's edition of 3 Things I Loved and 1 Thing I Absolutely Hated. June has been an emotional but creative well. While the emotions have been unpleasant to deal with, I managed them but tapping into some poetry and prose writing. I started DBT therapy this month and I'm working on distress tolerance and coping skills to help me when I am in distress. I may write a blog post about this later in the future.

For now, let's get underway with 3 things I loved about June 2025!

3 Things I Loved About June 2025

1. No shortage of creativity.

I've been tapping into my emotions and turining the pain I've been feeling into some poetry and prose. My emotional state has been kind of on the down side and a lot of what I've written, is written for me. I don't know if I will ever share the poems I wrote for me (as some are just too depressing and would probably not interest readers). It's been a very helpful coping skill. I have also created some pieces to share publicly too, when it is time.

2. "Meet Me In the Lavender Fields" -- a poem I wrote when I was feeling romantic feels and all lovey-dovey from seeing an advertisement to have a dinner date at lavender at Romeo Lavender Farm in Michigan (google it!). I will be happy to share this poem with you today :-)

Meet Me In the Lavender Fields
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Copyright 2025 Samantha Jean Tate All Rights Reserved. Please e-mail statewrites84912@gmail.com for permission to use.

You left a note on the kitchen table,

"Meet me in the Lavender Fields. Wear your best dress. You bring yourself, and I'll bring the wine".

Curious. 

I walk out to the field of lavender, its fragrance dancing in my nose.

There you are.

In your best white shirt, tie, and khakis.

Barefooted. Grounding into the earth.

A blanket has been set up with a cute little picnic basket sitting on top.

I sit down,

You pour me a glass of wine.

"After years of wrong turns and almosts. After heartbreaks and missed chances. After searching in all the wrong places. Here's to us. We finally found each other", you toast.

Clink.

A kiss. Warm. Soft. Real.

Our tongues intertwine with the taste of aged wine.

The beauty of the lavender flowers surrounds us,

Its aroma more intoxicating than the wine.

We feel relaxed and enjoy each other's company.

We feast on fried chicken, cooked spinach, and raw carrots.

For dessert, chocolate strawberry cake--

and each other.

Making love in the lavender fields.

Your earthy, familiar smell invigorates me,

turning me on along with the lavender scent.

The sun basking on my vanilla skin.

I'll never forget this date.

And when we're apart I'll close my eyes,

and return to that place.

I'll meet you in the lavender fields...again.

3. I have a three-way tie for three. I like my new therapist, Becca, New Kids On The Block's Step By Step album, and I absolutely am loving treating myself to some milk chocolate M&M's on my hard, emotional days.

Becca is my new therapist who uses DBT alongside talk therapy. I found her on Psychology Today's website. I've only had one session with her right now as of this writing, but I felt seen and understood more. While Candace, my old therapist, was a wonderful therapist, I didn't feel as seen with her like I do with Becca. Becca is also on the autism spectrum and that is very helpful. Her speciality is also working with autistic spectrum adults. I feel like this is the therapist I've needed my whole life. And now it's time to catch up.

New Kids On The Block are celebrating the 35th anniversary of their album Step By Step being released. This is my second album of theirs I owned growing up. I got the tape for my 6th birthday along with a jumbo sized birthday card "from them". I enjoyed revisiting this album and listening to the unreleased tracks. The ballad I Love My Girl makes me get in my feels and I feel like I'm on the bleachers waiting for my crush to ask me to slow dance to this song. Needless to say, this got put on my Knight of Wands Only spotify playlist (music I am listening to manifest a healthy relationship).

And lastly, I've been using M&M's to cope. Now mind you, I am a diabetic, so I have to be careful of when to indulge. I indulge only when I am having an emotionally hard day (like last night as of this writing). I had a 16oz glass of fat-free milk and a handful of milk chocolate M&M's and I felt a little better. Other favorite foods have been cheese pizza from Little Caesaers, quarter pounder meals from McDonald's, bananas, and turkey, provolone, spinach sub sandwiches with yellow mustard.

And now for the one thing I aboslutely hated this month...

My emotions.

I've just been feeling all kind of feels. I'm entering my seasonal depression stage. I was hypomanic for two months. And now I am coming down and just sad, lonely, and everything in between. It doesn't help that I reached back out to my ex, Justin, just to get some kind of closure and he ended up spiraling when I told him I needed space and I wasn't comfortable with his conservative nationalism. I reached out to him because I had just made a post on Instagram about my one year since my suicide attempt. I was feeling all sorts of feelings after that post and I craved someone familiar and comfortable, not necessarily safe. So I e-mailed him. We talked on the phone the next day, and he threw at me that he's a conservative nationalist. No thank you. So instead of starting an argument, I walked away. Blocked him. He e-mailed me on Monday last week and wondered where I went. I responded. He spiraled and blamed me for changing the goal posts and for not telling him I needed space. He completely glossed over that it was my suicide attempt anniversary when I reached out to him. He went into talking about how much he missed me and how drawn he is to me and how I am his soulmate. He never asked me how I was feeling. He didn't say "I'm glad you're still here". Nothing. He just glossed right over it, focusing on him and his feelings. I also said "Quit being a cold-hearted, logical, emotionless asshole". It was the truth he needed to hear.

And that, my faithful lurkers, is what I loved about June and what I absolutely hated this month. I'll see you next month!

Poetry for Cancer Season ♋🦀

 

Cancer is the zodiac sign full of emotion and heart. People born under the sign of Cancer can be sensitive, intuitive, nurturing, creative, and protective. Cancer season lasts for one month from June 21st until July 22nd. 

I thought to celebrate the sun moving into Cancer later this week, I could share some of my most emotional, Cancer-esque poems I've written. Are you ready to dive deep into the feels? Get some tissues, get a box of chocolates, and pour yourself some tea. Let's express our feelings and emotions!