I thought to celebrate the sun moving into Cancer later this week, I could share some of my most emotional, Cancer-esque poems I've written. Are you ready to dive deep into the feels? Get some tissues, get a box of chocolates, and pour yourself some tea. Let's express our feelings and emotions!
The High Priestess
By: Samantha Jean Tate
As I learn the secrets of life
She shares with me the mystery
She empowers me
She doesn't reveal everything
But with an inner knowing
She reveals just enough
Enough for a taste
Enough to be curious
Enough to explore
The further depths
Of my shadow
I become wise
By not sharing
I become divine
By believing in my own magic
I become mysterious
By hiding the depths of my soul
I have a secret
One that will be revealed
In time
I couldn't feature a poem without the tarot card that represents Cancer season! The High Priestess! While this one isn't super emotional, you get the vibe of Cancer season through this tarot card. The High Priestess traditionally represents secrets, the divine feminine, emotions, the subconscious, and intuition. She is the magic behind Cancer season. Secrets are discovered during Cancer season, and everyone's intuition is on fleek during this season (or even when a sign is in a fellow water sign such as Scorpio or Pisces).
Will I Ever Be Loved?
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Will I ever be loved
For who I am?
Not lusted for my outer appearance
But finding a soul
Who resonates with mine
Will I ever be loved
And taken care of?
I've been taking care of
Me for the last twenty years
It sure would be nice
To be loved and taken care of
By someone else
Will I ever be loved
And in love?
It seems like all my relationships
I end up falling out of love
Or they fall out of love
With me
Maybe I'm difficult to love
Maybe I have high expectations
Maybe I am the problem
Will I ever be loved By me?
This one I included because I long to be loved by myself and by others. But mostly, by myself. I wrote this during a self-conscious day and was feeling my feelings. On a scale of 1-10 on emotions, I'd rate this a 4.
Softer By: Samantha Jean Tate
She's softer now
She's no longer angry
She's at peace with how things were
How things ended
She's full of love and kindness
And forgiveness
She's full of love
She's full of life
You caused the sparkle in her eyes
The smile on her face
She's getting better
She's focusing on herself
She's putting herself first
She's setting boundaries
All because you learned from her
And she learned from you
So thank you for loving her
For protecting her
For speaking up for her
Thank you for blessing her with your presence
Despite circumstances
She adores you
More than you'll ever know
And it's because you brought her back to life
And you saved her from herself
Cancer season has a softness in people. People are more kind to themselves and others. This particular poem I wrote as soon as I got out of the psych ward last year and reunited with my old friend from high school. He is a Cancer sun. He was very protective of me during our psych ward stint and we spent the entire weekend together pretty much in the psych ward. I just felt his friendship love radiate towards me. And honestly, I think my stay in the psych ward would have been a lot longer if it weren't for him being there and uplifting my spirits. I felt so soft and all my anger poured out of me.
Our Time By: Samantha Jean Tate
Our time has come to an end,
my dear friend.
We must part ways for now,
until we meet again.
Maybe we meet in a new chapter in this life,
Or we meet in the next life,
I hope our paths cross again.
You were an experience,
a "hello" that was welcomed.
But we are drifting,
like two ships at sea,
just passing through the night.
This isn't a sad good-bye,
it's an "I'll see you soon".
The emotional scale on this one --- I'd give it a 2. It's not a sad goodbye. It's more of a happy we met, you made an impact on my life, now we must part ways. This is dedicated to the friends I have grown apart over the years.
Dreams
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Dreams of nothingness
Lullaby of a deep slumber
Suddenly awaken
By your thunder
You kiss me
Tenderly
It stirs me
It feels real
But could it be?
I open my eyes
And I am thrown into bed
All to realize
It was all in my head
What's Cancer season without a little romanticism? I'm always having dreams of some man who ends up showing me more love than any man has ever shown me in my waking life. This is dedicated to "Dream Man" or, as I've been calling him, since I was 14 years old when he first appeared, "Jason".
Untitled #1
By: Samantha Jean Tate
You know what sucks about not being seen or heard?
You feel invisible
You feel like you don't matter to the people you want to matter
Family picks and chooses favorites
Friends become your family
Until they piss you off like family does
You feel like an outcast
You feel like you are the bad guy
In a world full of narcissists, facades, and perfectionism
It's better to be unseen and unheard
Than to be loved for what you aren't
The emotional scale on this? 7! I was feeling my feelings this day. I wasn't being noticed on social media with my tarot business. My friends and family weren't interacting or seeing my posts. I just felt so invisible and that I didn't matter to anyone close to me. This was kind of a pity party poem.
Standards
By: Samantha Jean Tate
He really f*cked me up
I lowered my standards
When he should have met me
At mine
He told me we had a special bond
A bond that couldn't be broken
But I broke that bond
When I realized
He was never going to leave her
For me
He may have been my best friend
My soulmate
My cuddle buddy
But he used me
For his own needs
He was being selfish
I tolerated it
But not anymore
I'm changing I'm evolving
I'm saying goodbye to him
And the old me with lowered standards
Oof! This poem! This I wrote in 2020 after ending a "situationship" with one of my best male friends. I woke up one day. And I realized I deserved better than the breadcrumbs he's been giving me throughout the years. He also started smoking pot and taking shrooms and I just don't vibe with that scene. And it seemed like the only time he would talk to me was when he was bored with his wife or was horny. He was my rock for years. I'd cry into his arms, while we would make out or have oral sex. He claimed to have loved me. But yet, he never chose me. He always chose some other woman or man over me to have a relationship with. For years, I was his side dish. I had brought it up several times to him throughout the years. He would just say things such as "We have a special bond" or "You're the only ex I'm madly in love with". The emotional scale score for this poem? An 8.5. To this day, I do not talk to him, I block him on all of my socials, and he has me blocked too. Yes, I am just as guilty for letting it all happen. And I take responsibility for my parts in the situationship.
I had a dream about you last night.
We were at a dance.
I was up in the bleachers, looking at you.
I smiled at you, hoping you would take my hand
and slow dance.
Instead, you walked past me,
And went straight to her.
You pinned a #1 sticker on her,
You took her hand,
And lead her to the dance floor.
You two slow danced,
While I cried.
Feeling unseen, unheard, unloved--
Feeling ignored and not wanted
Feelings of rejection stirred.
I woke up screaming your name.
I'm awake
And the hurt is still there
The wound is open and fresh
I bleed all over you
I wasn't your priority. I wasn't your number one.
I wasn't chosen by you.
And the pain still hurts.
This one I wrote after an emotional dream I had about Justin. As you all know, Justin and I are permanently broken up and I have gone no-contact with him. I think my subconscious was recycling emotional gunk out of my aura.
Few people know this about Justin and me, but we tried dating in 2013. He ended up choosing another woman over me. He claimed that she was his soulmate. Two years later, the woman wanted an open relationship and cheated on him allegedly.
Now she had texted me and told me that JUSTIN cheated on HER. The way I see it -- they both cheated on each other. Both are trashy people and probably deserved each other. The biggest issue we had with our relationship was my trust issues. I really did not trust Justin in a romantic relationship way. I was always afraid he was going to find his next soulmate, someone better, someone who he actually wanted to prioritize.
He never prioritized me because I wasn't in his immediate physical environment (he was in Missouri and I'm in Michigan). He wouldn't even take time out to send a quick text. He would always be like "We'll talk soon". And soon wasn't like in 10-20 minutes. It ended up being 2 hours later at night. I would wait for him to get his chores done, feed his pets, take his shower, and whatever other shenanigans he had to do, and then he would finally text me at 11:00 and talk to me for a half hour and then he'd have to conveniently go to bed because he had work the next day.
He also NEVER talked to me when he had days off work. He claimed he was too busy. I just didn't fit into his life and he refused to try to fit me in. Maybe it was my fault too for waiting for him, but I wanted to talk to him. I made time for him. But he NEVER made time for me until it was late at night and he needed to decompress from his "busy" day.
He never talked to me during the day. It was always at night, and never on the phone. But we could talk on Skype after I showed him the goods. And then he proceeded to fall asleep after he orgasmed. Maybe a little TMI there, but I'm deeply hurt by this man.
He was also one of my male best friends. But that friendship is ruined. So don't get into a relationship with your best friends unless you can handle the falling out or still manage to remain friends. I don't think he deserved my friendship because even when we were friends, he'd only talk to me at night on his terms, when he was in the mood.
The emotional scale for this one? A 9.9. I cried pretty much all day from this dream and even rehashed it in therapy with my new therapist. I learned I have an anxious attachment style. As for Justin, he's totallty avoidant attachment style. And my therapist says these two attachment styles always attract each other.
Haunting Memories By: Samantha Jean Tate
I remember
The day we said goodbye—
At Pizza Hut,
Sharing a slice,
Talking, but not really.
You barely spoke,
And I barely knew how to say it.
"Let's just be friends," I whispered.
Your eyes, wide and wet,
Betrayed the words you hoped not to hear.
You wanted more.
But darling,I had wronged you.
You didn’t deserve it—
The hurt I caused,
The distance I built.
And I?
I didn’t deserve someone
As good as you.
I pushed you away.
Pushed.
Pushed.
Pushed.
I shoved you away.
Shoved.
Shoved.
Shoved.
The car ride home was silent,
Even the radio stood still.
It felt like the world had died.
But it wasn’t the world, it was us.
Our world ended that cold December day.
Now, all I have left
Are memories—
Memories that haunt,
That linger,
Of you,
Of us,
And the life we let slip away.
This poem I wrote during an emotional December night. I was listening to "House of Memories" by Panic! At the Disco, and I was thinking about my ex-fiance Mike. It wasn't an anniversary of our breakup, from what I remember. But I was inspired to write about how I pushed him away, even though he wanted to work things out. He had high hopes of us being more than friends. But I didn't want that. I felt undeserving of his love and forgiveness. And I still think I am unworthy of his love and forgiveness. He was hurt when I told him I wanted to just be friends. And I never saw him again after that. So the emotional intensity of this poem? Is like a 9.
Cup of Tea
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Everyone wants to be around me when I'm happy and thriving
But no one wants to be around me when I'm struggling
I have to get used to the silence
I have to let my mind go mad
I have to let my eyes swell up in tears
I'm a party pooper
I'm a Debbie Downer
I'm a negative Nancy
I wish I wasn't those things
I wish I could be everyone's cup of tea
But I know I'm not even my own cup
Another pity party poem. Sometimes it just feels like people only interact with me when I am carefree and happy. Whenever I am down or have troubles, no one is to be found. And it sucks. So I've learned to just let myself spiral through writing poetry, cry in my bedroom, and listen to emo music. I've learned that no one truly wants to hear about what's troubling you or really want to deal with sadness or loneliness or anything that requires showing up and being empathetic. The emotional intensity of this poem? I'd give it an 8. I shed some real tears with this poem.
Whore
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Sick of not being chosen
Sick of not being the one
Tired of being imperfect
Tired of only being seen as a sex object
Sick of being left on read
Sick of being ignored
Tired of the fucking pricks
And the low quality guys
Why can't I attract someone single?
Why can't I attract someone that is good for me?
Am I not good enough?
I have a lot of love to give
But no one seems to want my love
I'm tired of being a crazy cat lady
It wasn't my choice to be one
I don't know where pricks get off by saying I chose this life
But I didn't
And I don't know if I will ever meet someone who wants to be with me
Who will love me for who I am
Inside and outside beauty
I don't know if I will ever meet someone who matches my values
I don't know if I will ever feel 100% safe
I deserve better than what I'm getting
I deserve more
Than to be your whore
And we've come to our last emotional poem for Cancer season. Whore is a favorite poem of mine. It's raw, it's...angry...it's emotional. This was my first poem I started out reading at a Poets and Writers Night at Totem Books. I set the tone for the evening with this poem. How would you like this to be an opener to a Poets and Writers night? 🤣
This poem I wrote after a high school classmate of mine who reached out to me after I got out of the hospital. I had started to develop feelings for him. And I was just basically an afterthought. We stopped talking after I sent him that poem. And I eventually unfriended him off Facebook. But this poem wasn't about him, it was about how I would pretty much let anyone touch me as long as they paid attention to me. And well, I am done with that life. That's not my scene anymore.
I'm no longer going to be a side dish, I am no longer going to accept breadcrumbs from emotionally unavailable men, and I am no longer going to bare my naked body for just anyone anymore just because they paid attention to me.
I don't care about being paid attention to anymore. I want compatiability (which I doubt I'll ever truly have with anyone beyond my ex-fiance). I want someone who will laugh at dumb YouTube videos with me and someone I can read erotica and poetry with. I want someone who will sing me New Kids On The Block on my voicemail. I want someone who will actually make an effort to keep me and they prioritize me in their life. And I want someone that I don't have to be a secret. I want someone that is PROUD to have ME. And I don't know if I'll ever find that. But I do know, I deserve more than to be somebody's whore ;-)
So yeah, the emotional scale on this one -- totally a 10! Maybe even an 11!
And that wraps up the Cancer season poetry. I might do this again next Cancer season? Who knows. I hope you enjoyed my stories and the emotional scale. What poem do you think was the most emotional? Drop me a line in the comments with your pick! And please, no negative comments. All negative comments will be deleted.
All poems copyright 2024-2025 Samantha Jean Tate. All Rights Reserved. To feature or use for commercial purposes, please e-mail statewrites84912@gmail.com
No comments:
Post a Comment