I am using Tarot & Astrology by Corrine Kenner as well as Tarot Deciphered by T. Susan Chang. I'm also listening to The Tarot Podcast by T. Susan Chang and Fortune's Wheelhouse podcast, also by T. Susan Chang. Like I said, I am not doing the Tree of Life (and that's okay!). I'm also using a spreadsheet T. Susan Chang created of the timing of the decans for 2026 that she included in The Tarot Podcast. Normally, the decan for the first 10 degrees of Taurus is from April 20th-April 30th. However, some years it starts April 19th-April 29th.
I have heavily connected with the Five of Pentacles energy out of the three cards. I have always felt like an outsider looking in. But one thing I learned about the Five of Pentacles is that I choose to keep moving, whether the Hierophant invites me in. I also learned that Mercury does not feel good here. He is slow-moving, and it is like moving through a bunch of sludge. This is, however, a good time for thought processing and working through worry, rejection, and even resilience. I have learned to sit with my thoughts rather than acting upon them. I have learned that even if I am rejected by communities (either self-inflicted or intentional); I keep moving forward despite.
The Five of Pentacles is the Lord of Material Trouble, or in T. Susan Chang's book Tarot Deciphered, Lord of Worry. It represents fixed earth. This can be a stubborn transit to go through. But once you realize the only way out is through, you're able to keep moving. And that's the thing...you gotta not let rejections, fears, and the negative keep you down. You just gotta keep pushing yourself forward. Don't quit. Rest. And then keep moving.
The Hierophant was the card I connected with the least. The Taurus archetype. In a way, I feel like the Hierophant looks down on me. I feel like he doesn't like me doing my own thing and ignoring tradition. But aren't traditions meant to be broken? And what good is community if you can't be your authentic self?
I lack community. A part of it is self-inflicted because I don't enjoy belonging to hierarchies or leaving the house. Another part of it is that when I try to fit into a community, I don't fit in. I have always found it difficult to fit into neat boxes. Fitting in and community have always been a struggle for me, despite my 11th house Sun in Virgo in my Placidus chart. I relate to my 12th house Sun in Virgo in Whole Sign chart than I do my 11th house Sun in Virgo in Placidus. The 11th house Sun shows popularity and people loving you. I find the complete opposite. I only have 24 friends on Facebook, 211 followers on my author_samanthajeantate Instagram, 27 followers on my private Instagram, and 34 followers on my author Facebook page 🤣 I also blame myself because I do not want to be seen fully.
I have recently made the observation that I am half-seen. I don't fully put myself out there. And the Hierophant taught me that I must fully put myself out there to be seen. Not half-assing it. But a reflection that came up in my journal, I asked myself, was, do I really want to be seen? And what does being seen actually mean?
It's interesting what this decan walk has brought up for me in just this first week alone. I even had a very intense dream where I woke up screaming and then fell back to sleep. I don't remember the dream, but I'm assuming that I was moving through that Five of Pentacles / Hierophant energy and Mercury expressed itself through screaming in my sleep.
Another thought I had during this first week of Taurus season working through the Magician card that represents Mercury is, I have to will myself. Those "I Am" affirmations are a big part of getting out of that Five of Pentacles lack mentality. And it is also about using all the resources you have to help you get out of the Five of Pentacles upright and turn it into Five of Pentacles reversed.
Once I realized I had tools at my disposal to get out of worry, I took advantage of them. I journaled. I talked with friends. I connected with my tarot decks. I acknowledged what I have. I traded scarcity for sufficiency.
As the first decan of Taurus comes to a close and we move onto the second decan of Taurus, the Six of Pentacles, I have learned that I am resilient, despite getting knocked down by other people, myself, or circumstances. And I also learned that this resilience is in my blood.
I connected the Five of Pentacles to my dad, whose birthday is April 30th and lines up with the traditional April 20th-April 30th dates. My dad has lived a rough life. His school expelled him for skipping English class in high school. He ended up going into the Army, not wanting to live with his mom or dad, on his 17th birthday. He then volunteered to go to Vietnam. While he was in Vietnam, they sprayed his camp with Agent Orange. He has tried to get disability from the VA since 1979. He also took a job at GM in Buick City here in Flint, Michigan. He would always get laid off.
But the thing is...he didn't give up. He kept going. He kept fighting the VA until the DAV (Disabled American Veterans) helped him get his Agent Orange disability in 2021/2022. My dad worked odd jobs and even went to school for computer programming while GM laid him off.
He worked at GM on the assembly line and later for the robotics in Plant 36 for 30 years. He retired. He owns his own home now. It just goes to show you that perseverance is the key to reversing the Five of Pentacles. My dad could have kept going to school for computer programming. He could have worked anywhere else. But GM was the only job that had significant benefits at that time. Not even a computer programmer had the benefits that GM had in the 80s and 90s. He never gave up. He didn't lie down and decide that he was worthless or not good enough. He fought.
He fought for everything we had. And with Mercury in Taurus, you fight through the sludge. You notice the people in the RWS deck keep walking, despite being cold. Despite the church being warm and comforting and inviting. They kept their heads up. And who's to say that they entered the church but got rejected by the Hierophant?
Sometimes, life requires us to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps instead of feeling sorry for ourselves and embracing self-pity.
And that is my decan walk for the first week of Taurus. Today is the last day of the first decan of Taurus. Tomorrow, I will change my cards and focus on the Six of Pentacles, The Hierophant, and The High Priestess.
In other news, I wrote a lot this month. I finished the first section of Saturday Morning Tarot: Tarot Spreads for Your Inner 90s Child. I also wrote the introduction and welcome, as well as the what the heck is tarot and How to Shuffle Your Deck and Use These Spreads. I am having my doubts about publishing this book now. I really don't want to get sued by big corporations such as Warner Brothers or Paramount/SkyDance.
I am wondering if this project is even worth doing at all? Especially since I was recently "hypothetically" called out as a grifter in a certain YouTuber's video. I say she didn't use my name hypothetically because I sent this YouTuber a follow request on Instagram a few weeks ago (and she denied the request). And here she created a video about grifters and coincidentally used my name in her video. And funny thing is I fully supported her. I was a huge fan of hers. But now I have her channel blocked, and I blocked her on Instagram. I'm sad because I enjoyed her content. But oh well. It's not the first time someone in the tarot community has rejected me, by someone who I thought was cool. I'm just uncool for the cool kids in the tarot community.
In my novel, The Breaking Strain, I am writing Chapter 11. I deleted the first chapter 10 and rewrote it. So I am just now starting on Chapter 11. Chapter 11: things are about to get juicy between Sam and Sarah. I'm excited because I feel like I've been writing character development forever. Of course, this is still the first draft.
I have written no new poetry. I also haven't felt like posting any previously written stuff on social media. I was getting noticed by the algorithm on Facebook, and it only brought in two followers total. I am considering leaving social media altogether again. Maybe one, maybe both. Who knows? I'm just fed up with having to create content that only gets 1-2 likes at most and zero feedback. Other authors and poets get tons of comments on their work. I don't even get "You suck as a writer/poet."
I even posted that monologue I posted on here a while back from The Breaking Strain, on Instagram and Facebook, and it got views and a few likes. Zero comments. That disappointed me. It all circles back to that Five of Pentacles decan walk. And obviously, the Hierophant. The cool kids don't want me to sit at their table. Because I don't follow the hierarchy/tradition. I honestly despise the Hierophant now. Thanks a lot! LOL.
Here's a photo of my cards sitting on my desk surrounded by crystals that have nothing to do with the decan walk. Oh and a glass snail by Amy at American Art & Glass .
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