August Poem Dump

 

Here are some poems I've been working on in August. These are simply rough drafts, not in their final form yet. Or maybe they are, I don't know. Maybe I'm being harsh on myself.

Under the Retrograde Skies

By: Samantha Jean Tate

I want to apologize to you. Not because you deserve it. But because I'm lonely as hell without you.

If I were to apologize to you under these retrograde skies, we would just be repeating the cycle of emotional manipulation and abuse.

I don't think neither one of us learned a thing.

We aren't right for each other.

I need to move on, instead of digging up the past 

Under these retrograde skies, I vow to acknowledge my loneliness and release you.

Once. And. For. All.

One Day By: Samantha Jean Tate

Will one day ever come?

Will the day come where I am fully seen, loved, and valued?

Will one day ever come?

While the Tower Fell By: Samantha Jean Tate

Here I am, just jamming out to Monkey Gone to Heaven

While the world spins in total chaos.

The world didn't end when the tower fell,

it began.

And so did my life.

You see, while I was grooving,

Someone's life ended.

A new life came into the world.

Someone got their heart broken,

While someone else met their soulmate.

Someone began school,

And another just graduated.

She became a divorcee,

He became a husband.

A soul met their cat at the rainbow bridge,

While a dog found their fur-ever home.

A hamster choked on his food he overstuffed in his cheeks,

While a bird was set free from her cage.

Chaos is everywhere,

Even when the tower falls, life doesn't stop.

The world keeps turning

And you can be certain.

The Cards Said You'd Care By: Samantha Jean Tate

How I wish you would give me the time of day

To make you laugh,

To make you smile uncontrollably,

To love you.

How I wish you would speak more than two words.

How I wish you would reach out first.

I wish you were available.

I wish you were mine already.

Oh how I wish you knew the vibe you put out

And how I caught it

I wish you didn't deny there was something there.

Wasn't it?

You'd look at me from across the room,

While I gave a tarot reading

You seem interested

But then I caught you

And you pulled away.

Now you're liking my pics,

Liking my poems,

And you won't even say "hello".

When the Light Left You By: Samantha Jean Tate

There you were

Smoking your vape,

A cloud of smoke

Covered your eyes

But I could see through the fog

The light left your eyes

The inner fire was gone

You didn't care anymore

You had given up on life.

I knew something was wrong,

But I didn't want to upset you.

I tried to keep the conversation light

I made jokes

And I got you to laugh

I felt relief knowing

You didn't lose your sense of

Humor

I wish I could erase your pain

I wish I could be the one

To make you happy

But you can only make yourself

Happy

You cannot rely on 

Others

So I left you alone

Hoping one day

The light returned

You got your inner fire back

And you felt at

Peace.

Video Chat
By: Samantha Jean Tate

It was about eleven o'clock at night We video chatted I asked, "Did you ever like me romantically and do you now?" You said, "I'm sorry... But... No."

I felt my stomach drop

My chest fluttered

I held back my tears

At least I had you

As a friend.

You let me down gently

And you weren't 

A prick.

But I thought we were more.

I saw you looking at me

From across the room

Making sure I was fine

You checked in on me

After I was threatened

By another woman.

You were an answered prayer.

Someone God put on my path

For a reason.

The Desert Storm vet told me

You liked me.

I believed him.

Instead of looking at the logic.

I was a spoiled brat

In your eyes

That obviously turns you off.

I guess I just have to accept

We're friends. And nothing more.

Hell By: Samantha Jean Tate

What if Hell isn't flames and pitchforks?

What if there is no Satan? 

No red horns.

No brimstone.

What if Hell is just you...

Not being able to silence the voices

Of all the people you have ever wronged

And constantly fighting your inner demons...

for all eternity?

The Golden Light By: Samantha Jean Tate

I wake up

From bipolar-induced dreams

Not knowing if what happened

was real

Or if it was all in my head?

I dreamt I flew up to the sky,

in Jesus' arms

I saw my body on the ground

Dead.

Asleep.

I wouldn't wake up.

I try to replay the moment

I fell into death's shadow

But I can't remember a thing!

All I know is

It's peaceful.

I feel loved.

The golden light

Covers me.

I become One

with consciousness 

I turn into stardust

I am the entire universe

And the universe is within

Me.