Rejected again.
Another stoplight
Instead of a green light.
Can't move
Can't get out of bed.
Rejected again.
One step forward,
Three steps back.
Do not pass Go
Do not collect two-hundred dollars.
You're rejected!
Untitled #6 (or Fuck This Shit)
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Sick of cold weather
Sick of overcast skies
Sick of being ignored
And left on unread
Sick of surviving
In this stupid town
Can't even own a home
That's mine
Why was I put here on Earth?
If I am just going to be poor, mad,
And sad.
Sick of looking out my bedroom window
Wondering when life will happen to me
Barely have any hope left
I've been wishing and hoping
My entire life
I've put myself out there
Only to be met with doors slamming in my face
Or precious things
Taken away from me
Fuck this shit
Fuck this noise
Fuck this stupid city
And fuck writing, too!
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Indecision plays
In parts of being
Unsatisfied
Holding onto every last scrap
Of hope
Silence from the Peanut Gallery
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Today it's quiet...
Too quiet for my liking.
The silence is
Taking its toll on me
Not even "you suck"
Or a "you're a lousy human being".
The lull makes me
Spiral.
Into madness and
Anger.
Eventually, tears flow
I'm a mess
What's a writer without
Her community?
What's a writer without
Critiques?
What's a writer without
One-star reviews?
Worse, what's a writer
Who is
Reticent?
She feels like a winner
Until he's sick of her
He throws her away like garbage
While she picks up the pieces of her broken heart.
She feels like a winner
Until he feels too much.
She overwhelms him with her passion,
Her relentless pursuit
Of him and his heart.
She wants to be the one
To hold him tightly
To caress his chest
And tell him everything will be all right.
She wants to be his one
But she won't be
Because he chose the thinner sinner.
Muted by the Feed
By: Samantha Jean Tate
There I go,
Posting another post
No one gives a hoot,
My feed is pollute
My voice lies buried
Under ads and pics of kitties.
Algorithms dictate whether I will be seen.
Or if my content will be redeemed.
It's no fun when you're grieving something heavy
And all you get are crickets,
maybe a like or an "I Care"
and they say nothing at all.
You went to hell
And back
To find me?
Well, I swam
In oceans to
Get away from you.
Vienna doesn't wait
She's got places to go,
People to see,
Food to eat,
Men to love.
Vienna doesn't wait.
Things have to be done
Before we play.
No time for a rest,
Gotta make the most
Of today.
So, no, Billy Joel,
Vienna doesn't wait.
Instead, it hurries.
With the shorter days,
And long nights.
By: Samantha Jean Tate
"I'm tired of you blocking me without saying a word."
I'm tired of explaining and defending my feelings.
"I'm tired of you never working anything out like an adult."
I'm tired of you making me feel crazy when I try to explain why I feel things.
"I'm tired of never knowing if you'll fly off the handle or not."
I'm tired of having my boundaries crossed after I've given you numerous chances to learn my boundaries and abide by them.
"I'm tired of investing into something that can blow up at any time for any reason, with you making up stories in your head to be mad at me about."
I'm tired of having to justify my reasons for feeling my feelings. I'm tired of you gaslighting me, making me feel crazy that things you do didn't really happen. I'm tired of trying to understand you when you don't even understand me.
You think you know me, but you don't.
You think you deserve a medal because you stood by me when I was at my lowest.
You think you are perfect and do everything right,
when all you like to do is fight.
You think you deserve my loyalty,
because you're too afraid to be alone.
Because nobody loves you, not even yourself.
"I'm sick of it. Goodbye."
Me too, I'm out!
Psychic Surgery
By: Samantha Jean Tate
It's going to take a lot more than a hug for my soul to heal me. I need psychic emotional surgery!
A Convo
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Him:
"You don't know how hard it was for me to let you go."
Me:
"Tough shit. You don't know how long it took me to get over you."
Not My Responsibility
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Into my sacred space.
The universe collects debts in lessons,
Not in pity.
The Cards Said You'd Care
By: Samantha Jean Tate
How I wish you would give me the time of day
To make you laugh,
To make you smile uncontrollably,
To love you.
How I wish you would speak more than two words.
How I wish you would reach out first.
I wish you were available.
I wish you were mine already.
Oh, how I wish you knew the vibe you put out
And how I caught it
I wish you didn't deny that there was something there.
Wasn't it?
You'd look at me from across the room,
While I gave a tarot reading
You seem interested
But then I caught you
And you pulled away.
Now you're liking my pics,
Liking my poems,
And you won't even say "hello."
Mistake for Fate
By: Samantha Jean Tate
Under retrograde skies,
I mistook missing you
For fate.
Under retrograde skies,
I feel the urge to dredge up
Our past.
Under retrograde skies,
I'll dream of what once was
And mistake it
As your soul calling out
To me.
I will probably always love you
Forever.
Even when I am moved on,
You will still have a piece
Of me.
Under retrograde skies,
We meet
Again.
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