Writing poetry didn't make me stronger. It made me honest.
I didn't realize how much I was settling until I saw my words in print.
I accepted emotional inconsistency and called it complexity. I fell in love with potential instead of reality. I shrank my values and standards because being chosen—even halfway—felt better than being alone. I was grateful for the breadcrumbs lovers gave me, even though they left me starving.
On the page, I wrote about how messy my love life was. I had ah-ha moments as I wrote my poetry piece by piece, confessing all my relationship patterns. I realized then that my self-worth was the issue.
I didn't see myself as worthy of a true, loving, fulfilling, consistent, emotionally available relationship. I kept getting into the same patterns I've helped navigate clients in my tarot reading practice out of. And I knew I needed to do better. I deserve better. And my values mattered to me.
Poetry can stay hidden. Self-publishing cannot. I decided to self-publish my first poetry book, GROWTH: A Healing Journey of Poetry and Prose in September 2024. I didn't think twice about it. I knew I had to put it out there to fully heal.
Putting my poetry out there for others to read helped keep me accountable from repeating the same relationship patterns. It also helped me connect with others and belong to a community.
I know my worth now. I will no longer be a side girl, fall in love with potential, ignore red flags, and settle for emotional inconsistency ever again. Instead, I hold myself to a higher standard and embrace single life. And that is where the healing journey begins...
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